Hot town summer in the city

As a veteran of 29 hot Andalusian Julys, I'd like to offer some tips to help the uninitiated make it through to the first blessed breezes of late August, writes columnist Peter Edgerton

Peter Edgerton / www.peteredgerton.com

Malaga

Friday, 28 June 2024, 16:50

Hang on to your hats, here it comes. What is statistically, the hottest month of the year in Malaga - July. So, actually, hang on to ... your hats quite literally, you're going to need 'em.

To be fair, this summer so far has been rather kinder than most to those of us who deal with the heat like a professional footballer deals with the faintest whiff of physical contact from an opponent. We writhe and we gasp, and we warily go about our daily business constantly sporting the hint of a hard-done-by grimace of which even Cristiano Ronaldo would be more than proud.

As a veteran of 29 Andalusian Julys, I'd like to offer some tips to help the uninitiated make it through to the first blessed breezes of late August.

First, seek out the shade at every opportunity, even if this means an undignified back-to-the-wall slither down the only strip of shadow on the street. Don't, under any circumstances, give way to anyone coming in the opposite direction - if there's a stand-off, exclaiming "Sir, can't you see I'm ginger?!" will usually shame your adversary into giving way.

Next, don't leave the house between 1.30pm and 5.30pm. Get your supplies in early and drink gallons of liquids while slumped on the sofa watching endless reruns of Frasier. All physical movement is to be avoided including laughing, so, on second thoughts, swap Frasier for Monty Python.

Thirdly, remember to eat. It's quite possible that a combination of the heat and the fact that you're drinking mega-litres of Ribena will mean that you have no appetite. However, in order to avoid an untimely death, you must consume a bit of food now and then, even if it's only something light. There's absolutely no need to stoop to salad, though.

Lastly, the night is your friend. Even if you're normally the type of person who's in bed by ten o'clock with a book of crosswords and a mug of Horlicks, this is your chance to risk action and adventure after sundown. I don't mean hanging out on street corners with the local hell-raisers but, you know, half a lager down at the local tavern won't do any harm. Who knows, they might have some dominoes. Don't get too carried away, though - remember you have to be up at 6am to get your midday supplies in.

Well, I hope that helps. If in doubt, just remember the Spanish phrase 'Vete por la sombra' ('Get into the shade'). There's a reason it's been used for centuries as a term of affection.

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