The Music Maker opinion
Queueing action
You can tell a lot about the state of a nation by observing its queueing habits, writes columnist Peter Edgerton
Peter Edgerton
Malaga
Friday, 10 January 2025, 14:50
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Peter Edgerton
Malaga
Friday, 10 January 2025, 14:50
'Queueing' is a word that must be infinitely baffling for anyone trying to learn English as a foreign language. The correct pronunciation is, of ... course, 'kyooing' but, let's face it, if you were coming across it for the first time it could be anything from 'kweng' to 'kyeng' via 'kwurng' and any number of variations thereof. It really is a lovely word, though - both aesthetically pleasing and also representative of all that's right within society. You can tell a lot about the state of a nation by observing its queueing habits.
An orderly queue is truly a wonder to behold and also a great leveller - the same rules apply to everyone. Needless to say you'll get the occasional oaf who believes that the universally accepted etiquette isn't of any concern to them but they will inevitably be summarily chastised for their behaviour whether it be in the style of a histrionic Mediterranean reprimand or the favoured northern European option which is the generally accepted hellish cacophony of heavy sighing and tutting. The fact is, not observing the rules of the Queue is considered very bad form wherever you may roam.
Yesterday, in the supermarket, an old woman jumped the queue just behind me, tucking herself neatly into a barely discernable gap with a speed and finesse of which Lionel Messi would have been proud. The younger woman just behind her, who had clearly been wronged, was faced with a thorny problem: say nothing and be responsible for not challenging the chipping away at one of society's pillars of respectability or call out the offender and risk appearing to be engaging in a spot of petty old-woman bullying. She handled it beautifully.
"Look, madam. I don't mind if you really need to jump the queue for an important reason but, please, at least acknowledge the fact that you're doing so." What style! What grace! Flummoxed in the extreme, the old woman spluttered some kind of apology and a thank you and the situation was resolved splendidly. The cashier and I exchanged glances, barely able to repress our collective delight.
These incidents are few and far between because, on some level or other, we all understand the importance of order and civility while waiting in line. One minute you think 'I'll just nip in here because I've only got a tin of corned beef and she's doing a monthly shop.' Next thing you know, you're knocking a wide and varied selection of small children out of the way in order to plonk beach towels onto sunbeds at the crack of dawn.
It's a slippery slope and, deep down, we all know it.
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