The Music Maker opinion
24-hour paella people
SUR in English columnist Peter Edgerton is considering starting a food franchise – Non-Stop 'Til You Pop'
Peter Edgerton
Malaga
Friday, 20 December 2024, 17:12
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Peter Edgerton
Malaga
Friday, 20 December 2024, 17:12
Maybe it was the mental image of a fat, perspiring, mustachioed chef in a big hat turning the air blue with a torrent of swear ... words not heard of since Mariah Carey last popped up unbidden on the radio in my house, or maybe it was the wording of the publicity itself, but there was something about the restaurant sign I saw this week that tickled my funny bone.
'Non-Stop Paella' was the phrase in question. For all the academic studies and expert analyses of the role of tourism in the modern world that have recently been undertaken, no-one, I suspect, has been able to capture the essence of the subject in quite such a succinct manner. It didn't say, for example, 'Paella sin parar' which, to be fair, would have drawn the attention of precisely no Spanish people whatsoever. Also, that image of the resentful chef hurling out endless plates of the stuff to a room full of ravenous tourists before spending half his wages on a taxi to take him to his out-of-town home, where he's been obliged to live because all the local accommodation is taken up by visitors with a penchant for non-stop paella. I imagined them chomping away on their bowls of rice, feverishly Instagramming their exploits to a waiting world - #LivingTheDream #TheRealSpain - while the few locals left in town drifted blithely by, heading to a bar down the road to eat something that actual Spanish people eat on an actual regular basis, like pork chops and chips. It was all too much for my hyper-active chuckle button to bear and I found myself laughing so hard I was barely able to breathe.
It didn't stop there. The next day, I started wondering if the UK might take inspiration from this marketing ploy and launch a campaign for Spanish tourists over there involving neon signs promising 'Fish 'n' Chips Sin Parar'. Who in their right mind could resist that particular proposition?
Actually, the principle could be applied to any country in the world hoping to increase their visitor numbers - just take your most cliched dish (regardless of whether local people bother with it much or not) and serve it on an endless 24-hour loop until every tourist has either had their fill or exploded in a shower of stereotypical foodstuffs.
Come to think of it, I might start a franchise – Non-Stop 'Til You Pop'.
Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas.
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