Flexible friends

Maybe it's a direct consequence of antisocial media or maybe it's because we're more than a bit spoiled but there can be little doubt that we're all very sure of our own beliefs these days. Phrases like "Crumbs, you might have a point there" or "Well, blow me down, I'd never thought of it from that angle," are about as common as a Spanish lunch lasting less than four hours. Black and white thinking is the name of the game; grey areas are for wimps. It is, of course, utter madness. Not to worry, though, I have a plan for retraining our minds to be more flexible and it's this: take a few things you've always disliked and find something positive about them.

I'll go first - currants, raisins and sultanas. These are patently awful little devils that have destroyed perfectly fine chocolate bars and cakes down the decades. On the face of it, they have absolutely no redeeming features - ghastly in both taste and texture. However, in my redoubtable endeavours to pursue a more flexible mindset, I'll think of something good about them. Err....hang on....any minute now...ah, yes! They were, once upon a time, grapes which are lovely even when the seeds get stuck in your teeth. It's not their fault they got old and dried up and we should remember them in the first flush of youth when they actually tasted nice. There, that wasn't so hard, was it? In fact, it's given me a warm, fuzzy feeling all over.

What's next? I know - Real Madrid football team. Blimey, this will be a tough one, what with their innate sense of entitlement and their fans' insatiable desire to gloat at the merest hint of an opportunity. Not to mention the Super League. Let's see, then - well, Raúl was a glorious footballer but, well, no, he did that shushing the opposing supporters thing with his finger on his lips and also pointing to his name on the back of his shirt with his thumbs when he scored. Gloating you see. Erm... well, the Bernabeu ground is pretty spectacular and their all-white strip is simultaneously elegant and intimidating, so I'll go for those two. There, that wasn't so hard, was it? I'm on a roll.

Monty Python. Oh Lord, everyone I know likes Monty Python or at least, they say they do (I suspect there's an Emperor's New Clothes thing going on). Well, Michael Palin seems like a decent chap if that counts and reciting the parrot sketch verbatim must have kindled a range of friendships between awkward youths back in the day. Who knows? Maybe even the (very) odd romance. Yes, I'll go for those two - nice Mr Palin and youthful bonding. This is getting easier by the minute.

Next, politics. Oh dear, wouldn't you know it? We've run out of space.

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