'Lol' and an avocado emoji

There are WhatsApp conversations that last longer than some relationships. You start with a “How's it going?” and three days later, you're still there, trapped in the loop of “Sorry, I forgot to reply to this.” And that's fine. We've all got used to it.

We're in five chats at once, participating in eternal conversations without saying a single word out loud.

We chat with people who aren't there. We respond to work from bed, to friends in the bathroom, to family while crossing the street and we call that “keeping in touch”, because we've put a “lol” and an avocado emoji. And with that, everything is understood. (Or so we think.)

Then your phone scolds you: “This week you've spent 8% more time with me.” Thanks, Siri, I already felt guilty without your help.

Calling without warning is almost a hostile act. And talking face to face can even be uncomfortable, because there's no time to edit what we say. We blurt it out and that's it. Scary.

We waste our time on virtual relationships. In chats that never close, in groups you don't leave because of that obsession with not missing anything. Conversations we could resolve in two minutes in person become circular dialogues because we don't want to seem rude by writing: “Well, I'll let you go”. And so, we continue, day after day.

We value being busy all day so much that even on vacation we have to plan things. Every year I spend a few days in a village with bad internet coverage, where there are no shops, no pool, no entertainment options, beyond chatting with people, reading, taking a walk or looking at the stars; it doesn't even have a beautiful landscape, so zero pressure to do things.

I've discovered that a little week away from home, disconnected and without plans, I love it. Mind you, it has a bar (for the whole village) and people gather in private bodegas. So the entertainment is relating to others in person. Great plan.

The Swedes have invented doing fika, a cultural tradition that consists of taking a break to share coffee or a sweet treat. It's not about eating and drinking, but rather it's a moment to foster conversation and social relationships that they practise daily and even more than once a day. One of their formulas against lack of light and depression.

What a good recipe, that unhurried coffee to look, listen... without gifs and without having to put 'lol' so the other person knows you're laughing.