There is a shortage of ice in Malaga. / SUR

Ice doesn't come from Ukraine


With summer, it's just like Saturday nights - any stupid thing can become a news item. Now they are saying there is a shortage of ice, but there is fresh evidence of a bit of fake news here. It is an alarm 'in absentia'.

They are exaggerating the problem, said one article writer who was covering the issue. It isn't the ice that is lacking. What we are short of is those cubes which are the driving force of a humanity which would not be the same without water which has been frozen and manufactured in this specific way. The maximum number of ice cubes allowed per person per day is being limited. The Hielos Raquel ice company has not commented on the matter.

Only once in my life have I seen frozen croquettes being used to keep drinks cool, and I have been in various situations where ice has been as necessary as air.

They say that making ice (the word in Spanish is 'hielo') at home is called 'hieling'. Someone was very brave to come up with that particular piece of stupidity, because domestic production of ice cubes has always been the main function of the freezer that more or less everyone has in their home. Of course, anyone who has ever been able to buy a newspaper, go out for a coffee or beer or pay for a subscription, knows this: making ice is the primordial objective of any freezer and I am surprised to keep coming across people who do not have any ice cube trays in their home to make their own ice. Never sleep with someone who has no ice cube trays.

Another of the undoubted functions of a fridge is to freeze people. Who hasn't flirted with black magic at some time? It isn't difficult. You put a photo or a name in the freezer and nothing that person does affects you any more. One day I discovered at a friend's house that the family had frozen a lot of people. There was a whole pile of bits of paper with people's names written on them with a pen in the freezer. I knew several of them. José María Aznar, for example, he was there.

There's an even better story, about a friend who went to an ageing rock musician's birthday party. When she went to the fridge for some ice, in other words to take advantage of a primordial function of that appliance, she found in one of the drawers of the freezing compartment several books by a writer who for years had been the rocker's girlfriend (in this story everyone was ex-something). The ex-rock musician hadn't just frozen her name, but all her works, a complete bibliography of his hatred of this woman, including all the fictitious characters who appear in her books. If that doesn't sound like fantasy, what does? They say that rum can extend an evening out... but it's ice that makes everything last longer.