What's in a label?

Unsurprisingly the drinks industry does everything possible to protect its brands. What would happen if there were 'Camparis' from Chile and Greece, or 'Riojas' from Rumania or Australia? The first recorded legal disputes involved champagne.

A German promotional drive for Perrier mineral water traded off champagne's reputation with the slogan 'The Champagne of Mineral Waters'. Another case involved a sparkling elderflower juice on sale in Britain in champagne-shaped bottles, with the words 'Elderflower Champagne' on the label.

The European Court of Justice has just ruled that a 'German whisky' named Glen Buchenbach can no longer use the word 'glen' in its title. Under EU rules Scotch whisky must be made in Scotland, but, since this whisky is distilled near Stuttgart, and clearly described as 'Made in Germany' with no mention of Scotland, why should the label description be a problem?

The Scotch Whisky Association argues that the use of the Gaelic word 'glen', meaning gulley or valley, could mislead consumers into believing it was a Scottish product. The brand claimed it named its whisky after the Buchenbachtal, Tal being the German word for valley, and Buchenbach refers to the Black Forest, so the name Glen Buchenbach is technically and geographically sound.

It may only be a matter of time before a few Spanish brands find themselves on the bench of the accused, when some overzealous EU bureaucrat from the labelling department takes up the cudgels on behalf of Spanish consumers. There is a high possibility that we are being misled by wine names, all absolutely authentic, like 'Ostras Pedrin' (which of course is made from grapes, not oysters), 'Mosquita Muerta' (containing no dead mosquitos), 'El Hombre Bala' (Bullet Man, no lead involved), 'Envidia Cochina' ('Sow's Envy' with not a hint of pork), and 'El Grillo' (the cricket) contains no crickets.