A typical restaurant scene with diners. SUR

Eating alone

Eating together is a form of social interplay and until the end of the 19th century communal tables were the norm

Andrew J. Linn

Friday, 19 May 2023, 11:17

There has always existed a sort of stigma relating to eating alone in a restaurant. When we see an unaccompanied person at a small table, the unasked question tends to be: is he/she eating alone because of preference or because of no other option? Foodies hate eating alone, as it gives them no opportunity to comment on the food and wine with a companion, although the other extreme can be worse. If the meal is animated by lively conversation and a little too much wine, recall can be at a low ebb. Ask diners the next day what they ate, and many will have trouble remembering.

Some interesting anecdotes are related by habitual solitary diners. Frequently they will be asked by someone who has taken pity on them to join another table. Better to just say thank you and stay put, rather than point out that you prefer your own company. 'Take a book' is also standard advice, or a phone, and do not look around you as if signifying you are lonesome.

Eating together is a form of social interplay and until the end of the 19th century communal tables were the norm. But even then, unaccompanied women were discouraged from visiting restaurants.

New York's Oak Room restaurant was the last bastion, until in 1969 the strength of female public opinion forced a change. But lone diners still get all-embracing recognition: Nancy Scherl's recently released book called Dining Alone: In the company of Solitude contains decades of her photos of solo diners around the world. Some appear happy, others not so much.