Year we go again

It's time to look forward to 2022 and all the joy and wonder it may bring

Peter Edgerton
PETER EDGERTON

Crikey, that was quite a year. 2021 fizzed by at such a rate of knots that anyone who nodded off just after lunch on New Year's Day twelve months ago might well have missed it. Still, it's time to look forward to 2022 and all the joy and wonder it may bring. Here are a few predictions.

In the world of politics, Spanish prime minister Pedro Sánchez will go on holiday. In a wildly turbulent climate where what might happen next is anyone's guess, the only thing we can be sure of is that Mr Sánchez will be photographed on a beach somewhere with a book in his hand just as he was last year as all hell broke loose.

Where music is concerned, no one will sell any CDs at all anywhere and Spotify will become a medium-sized republic, with its sole aim being to send homogenous playlist suggestions to every human being on earth until our brains turn to blancmange and we're unable to distinguish Billy Ocean from Billie Eilish or Elvis Costello from the proper Elvis. Children will use granddad's CDs as Frisbees.

In film, in between Spiderman 346 and Batman The Ultimate Comeback, there'll be a new Wonder Woman movie. She'll be a man. Anyone coming up with any brand new or original ideas at film production studios will be put in the centre of the room to be roundly jeered at by their colleagues, all dressed in Superman t-shirts and Vans trainers.

Socially, we'll fragment even more, with middle-aged and old people continuing to form cliques and gangs on social media like teenage girls. By December, 'idiot' will be the most popular word of the year, having been used by everyone on the planet to describe anyone else who doesn't agree with them on every subject from the most complex issues of the day to which lipstick colour should be used by Kim Kardashian (if that's how you spell it).

In football, Barcelona and Manchester United will continue to implode until one of them proposes a new, breakaway Unsuper League where they battle it out with Sunday morning pub teams in the hope of ekeing out a nil-nil draw once in a while.

Meanwhile, my team, Liverpool, will continue to think they're better than they actually are which, to be fair, is a belief that seems to do our politicians no harm whatsoever.

A very happy and healthy new year to all.