The health of nations

My recollection of first visiting a doctor in Malaga is somewhat hazy - I can't remember a thing about the reason for my visit but it can't have been anything too serious because, thank the Lord, I've never had anything too serious. What I do recall, though, is the pretty young doctor rubbing my upper arm affectionately as I left, saying, "Don't worry, you'll be absolutely fine," with a smile so broad I felt I'd just been blessed with the gift of eternal life.

Compare and contrast this with an experience I'd had in the UK only weeks earlier while accompanying a seriously ill patient to an appointment for moral support. I asked the doctor a perfectly reasonable question about possible side effects of the medicine he was prescribing. He lowered his glasses, peered over the rims and twitched his little moustache, before replying in a tone which he presumably perfected in the Outlandishly Condescending Attitude module of his medical degree.

"You've no need to concern yourself with that."

I'd lived my life quite happily up to this point without knowing it was possible to both sneer and deride in one sentence.

I don't remember my reply verbatim but I do know that the gist was enough for him to hastily employ his clipped tones in a full and detailed explanation of any possible side effects. It may also have had something to do with the vast quantities of steam emanating from my ears and the fetching shade of purple traversing my face, who knows.

Anyway, back to the Spanish health service and its myriad wonders. The last time I visited my doctor, I'd saved up three or four minor niggles, none of which, in its own right, was worth bothering him with but, as a collection, offered ample reason for a visit. I did think he might be a bit annoyed with this way of doing things. Not at all. He dealt with each irritant methodically in turn and by the following week all of my mini ailments were but a distant memory.

I rang him soon afterwards to cancel a specialist's appointment which would no longer be necessary thanks to his sterling efforts.

"I just wanted to say thank you very much for your attention to detail. It's been a great help."

Unbelievably, that was what he said to me, rather than the other way round.

Like I said, the SAS is quite simply a marvel and we're so very lucky to have it.