It's now or never
THE MUSIC MAKER ·
If you're paid to wear a white coat and stare into microscopes for hours, it would be incumbent upon you to come up with a zany theory in a bid to justify your exorbitant funding
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THE MUSIC MAKER ·
If you're paid to wear a white coat and stare into microscopes for hours, it would be incumbent upon you to come up with a zany theory in a bid to justify your exorbitant fundingCompartir
Flicking idly through a newspaper is, I think we can all agree, one of life's greatest pleasures. Weekend publications are undoubtedly the best, with their innumerable different sections leaving no aspect of modern life untouched.
I'm sure most people have parts of the paper they simply don't bother with; for some it will be the sports section, for others the business news. I have two I rarely touch - Homes and Gardens and Science and Technology. It's a toss up which I find the most mind-numbing but, at a push, I'd have to say it was the latter. At least a photo of some random rhododendrons from time to time can be quite uplifting - not so a new-fangled gadget for tying your shoelaces without bending over.
Objectively, I can understand that science and technology have their role but I'd rather leave all that stuff to large-foreheaded people in spectacles allowing me to peruse the Arts and Entertainment section of the paper, searching for answers to the more important questions in life - like why you never hear a studio version of No Woman No Cry by Bob Marley, only the live one, for example.
Anyway, the other day, having exhausted all other available options, and with a little time to fill between guitar classes I found myself obliged to take a peek at the Science and Technology supplement in the weekend paper. As always, I soon wished I hadn't. The main article was about how some scientists somewhere are now arguing that there's no such thing as "the right now", basing their theories on something to do with far-flung galaxies with serial numbers for names and ... well, to be honest, that's about all I remember reading before nodding off, dearly wishing I'd opted for a second look at the infinite wisdom of Wayne Rooney in the sports section.
I suppose if you're paid to wear a white coat and stare into microscopes/telescopes/petri dishes/the middle distance for hours on end every day, it would be incumbent upon you to come up with a zany theory from time to time if only in a bid to justify your exorbitant funding. But, come on, boffins - no such thing as "right now"? Really? "Right now" is one of the most important concepts known to man and a phrase that's absolutely essential to exasperated parents everywhere along with "put your phone down for five minutes" and "What's that racket? In my day..."
I suspect it's all a plot concocted by the type of people who are incapable of turning up on time for anything. Instead of a little healthy self-analysis which would involve them having to admit that their tardiness is, in fact, selfishness, they can, instead, hide behind the latest scientific theory.
"Look, I'm not actually late, because when you think about it, now isn't really now and then wasn't really then and, er, you get the drinks in while I go to the bathroom."
It's all wrong and somebody needs to do something about it. Right now.
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