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It's hard to say

THE MUSIC MAKER ·

Most of us men find it so hard to pronounce those three little words, unable to conjure them

Friday, 25 February 2022, 12:07

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Why is it that we find those three little words so difficult to say? On one level it should be a fairly straightforward affair and yet some men I've known - we're much worse at it than women - have been so completely unable to conjure the magic phrase at the right moment that, in more than one case, it has led directly to the breakdown of their relationship.

So, what exactly is it, then, that makes 'I don't know' such a troublesome expression? Maybe it's the recognition of vulnerability that it represents - an existential fear of acknowledging that there's loads of stuff we can't control - or maybe it's a simple case self-delusion. Whatever the cause, the trend seems to be getting more marked. Mind you, even in the dim and distant days when people actually used to speak to each other in the street and ask for directions from strangers and things, it wasn't uncommon for somebody to send you plunging into the nearest ravine rather than admit they didn't know where your destination was. Admittedly, in examples such as this it was mainly a case of people desperately wanting to please others more than anything else, even if it meant sending them over a cliff in the process.

Today we are blessed with the dubious wonders of social media which means the situation is amplified. In a different, more humble world imagine the joy of opening your TwitFace feed to read the following:

"Regarding the current controversy vis-á-vis the ongoing question of whether a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable, quite frankly I haven't the foggiest idea, since I chose the macramé module at university rather than tomato studies . #Idontknow."

Unfortunately, what we're usually privy to in these circumstances is some bloke in his mother's basement rattling on in capital letters about the properties of rare species of tomato because he once walked past a few of them in the local supermarket on his way to the whisky aisle.

To tell the truth, I quite enjoy saying "I don't know," even if, sometimes, I do. It's really liberating, leaving you in a Zen-like state of blissful disengagement from the world.

"Hey, Peter, what time's the last train?"

"Dunno."

"Why is the Spanish political party, the Partido Popular currently being torn asunder from within?"

"No idea."

"What are you plans for the next five years?"

"Beats me."

By this point in proceedings, everyone at the shindig will have shuffled off in search of conversation with a little more depth, leaving you to sit on the washing machine clutching a bottle of beer and contemplating the infinite.

So, there we have it then, the answer to one of life's big questions was right in front of our eyes all along: "I don't know."

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