Are you experienced?

A couple of hotels in Malaga will be charging up to seven thousand euros per night in early August next year. This is because at just before eleven in the morning on Monday 2 August, a total solar eclipse will occur and southern Spain will be one of the best spots in the world to witness it, although if I were paying seven thousand euros for my hotel room I think I'd be tempted to stay in and get my money's worth by maxing out the air conditioning and using the trouser press.

Our all-consuming obsession with racking up 'experiences' and 'making memories' means that we are prepared to go to extraordinary lengths in order to be able to say we were present somewhere when, actually, watching the same thing on the TV is often the more satisfying option. Like that man from the UK, for example, who sold his house in order to go to the last World Cup tournament in the US, Canada and Mexico. Now then, would you prefer a roof over your head, sir, or to chomp on an overpriced spicy burrito squinting at England in the middle distance capitulating to an ageing Argentinian side for no fathomable reason?

It's the same with historical monuments and artefacts. Who in their right mind would rather witness Machu Picchu being trampled live underfoot by swathes of tourists in matching anoraks than be fully and properly informed in the comfort of their own living room by a man in a pink shirt and Panama hat (probably) while some of the greatest camera professionals in the world cherry pick the most striking images in order to conjure up the magic and mystery of centuries gone by?

In the same vein, there's a famous photograph of the Mona Lisa at the Louvre which, in reality, is mainly a snapshot of a room full of people waving their telephones in the air as if La Giaconda is about to launch into a passable rendition of Taylor Swift's Shake It Off. How many of the resultant photos will ever be looked at again and how frequently is a moot point.

Most of my most cherished memories correspond to stuff that happened spontaneously on Tuesday evenings in February and the like. On the few occasions I've tried to plan something memorable in advance, it's inevitably ended poorly. I'd offer you a couple of examples but I can't remember any.

The total eclipse in Malaga next August will be quite the event and I'm looking forward to donning my cardboard specs and cracking open a can of lager at 10.30 in the morning because I have a house here. If I lived anywhere else, I'd watch it on the telly.

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