surinenglish

Practically impossible

Practical people never cease to amaze me. There they all go, with their logical minds, bustling about the place, fixing things. How on earth do they do it? Broken door frame? Hammer, hammer, measure, measure, bish bash bosh. All fixed. Faulty cistern? Flashing spanners, grunt, grunt, grunt, tighten, grunt, grunt, tighten, sigh. Lovely job, good as new. It's nothing short of miraculous how these dudes overcome the challenge of everyday breakages and, what's even more astonishing, seem to enjoy it.

A bloke came to service our air conditioning a couple of weeks back. It took him a full two hours to do, and when he'd finished, the whole system worked beautifully and a lot more efficiently. Except there was this odd knocking noise coming from one of the units, which, after about thirty minutes of further attention was getting no better. Now, if it had been me at this point, after two hours and a half hours of hard graft, I'd have flung a bag of spanners at the offending equipment, fallen to my knees in despair and wept inconsolably. He didn't. He just kept on a-poking and a-prodding and humming a merry tune (really, he was humming to himself the whole time), until after a further hour of faffing about, the knocking noise was no more. The smile on his face was like that of Kenny Dalglish after scoring a goal. I was envious, not only of his practical skills but also his unbounded patience and the quiet joy he found in a job so well done. I'd still have been weeping uncontrollably.

It must just be a left brain/right brain thing. If someone gave me a box of tools and told me to put it to good use, I'd probably write a children's song about the contents. So impractical am I, that I honestly thought for years that when using a tablet and wanting to copy and paste, after touching the screen for a couple of seconds to achieve the 'copy' bit, you then had to touch the screen with the exact same finger to complete the 'paste' part. Really, I actually believed that if you used a different digit, it wouldn't work. That's not just being impractical, it's being very dim indeed.

So hats off to all the handy people in the world , with your incomprehensible tools and your universal grunts and your victorious smiles. You have my unmitigated admiration.

Meanwhile, I have to copy and paste this for publication. Any finger combination will do the job equally well, apparently.