Against all odds

It'll be my birthday on the 27th of this month. I'm loathe to mention it, really, principally because of the myriad problems it'll inevitably cause the poor receptionist at the SUR in English offices. Let's face it, nobody likes to be on the receiving end of a tsunami of expensive gifts sent from far and wide all for another person's benefit, do they? Nevertheless, that, I fear, will be her lot come the end of December. Life simply isn't fair.

Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes, birthdays. The trouble is, this year it'll be an odd one. I don't mean odd in the sense of strange (although lying on the sofa, chomping on handfuls of Cheesy Wotsits, slurping beer and binge watching Frasier might be considered by some to be a bit of a weird way to celebrate another year of waddling aimlessly about on the planet); no, I mean odd in the sense that it'll be an odd-numbered birthday and they're always much less palatable than the even numbered ones.

I first noticed this phenomenon in my twenties; the fact is, being twenty-six seemed a much more attractive proposition than being twenty-five somehow - younger even (forgive the pun). Why this should be, I've absolutely no idea but it never fails - every even numbered birthday celebration since then has been greeted with a certain joie de vivre, a happy recognition of not having snuffed it in the previous twelve months. By contrast, the odd numbers have always brought with them a softly creeping shadow of foreboding as if The Grim Reaper had just won one of those children's odds and evens finger-display games with my guardian angel. It's all very unnerving, let me tell you.

Not to worry, though, the good news is that, come the 28th, I'll have a whole twelve months to look forward to an even numbered birthday in 2018 and that's a pleasure in itself. In the meantime, this year I'll put on a ridiculous paper party hat, blow into one of those unfurling hooter things with a feather on the end, adopt a defiant rictus grin and graciously accept the good wishes of the assembled masses. I've had years of practice at all of this so nobody will even know of my deep inner turmoil on the day in question. It's all very odd.