surinenglish

A change would do you good

Davey plonks a couple pints down on the table. "Cheers, Mike! Hey, how did you get on on Saturday?"

"Cheers, Davey! Oh my God - we lost on penalties. Couldn't believe it. Some of the players were actually crying and everything. It's all over YouTube. We should've won, of course. On paper it was a walk over. Every single person I know thought we had it in the bag. I still can't take it in."

"Wow, that's tough. What are you going to do about it? Changes to the team and new tactics, I suppose?"

"Haha - oh no, changes, no. We're really good, mate - far superior to the other teams in every way. We don't need to change anything. No, no, no. Change? Hahaha. No - actually, we're going to protest against the result and see if we can find some technicality to have it made null and void."

"Eh?"

"Plus, in future, we're going to stop any teams coming to our ground whose style of play we don't like. You know - teams that are more direct than we are, that go straight for goal. No hit and hope or long ball games will be allowed at our place."

"Sorry? How on earth are you going to do that?"

"Well, that's the good bit. It's the gaffer's idea - we'll get all our fans out on the street to protest about the opposition's tactics any time they don't fit with how we think the game should be played - it'll be brilliant. There's one on Friday. You should come along."

"Er, no, I'm busy. Anyway, hang on a minute. Don't you think it would be better if you made changes to your own team and tactics?"

"Oh, no - don't be daft, hahaha, we're not wrong about those, mate. Everyone knows our tactics are perfect. It's simply a question of other fans up and down the country coming to recognise that our way of playing the game is far superior to all of the other teams."

"Er, OK, right. And you're going to achieve that by protesting?"

"Too right, mate. The gaffer says we might even win the league without having to play any more matches or train or anything. Protesting against the opposition, that's the key to victory he reckons - and, actually, all the lads agree."

"Erm, right. Right, OK..OK..it's just that..well...it's just..I...oh, let's just leave it. I need a drink."

"Great. Glad you agree. My round - another pint?"

"God, no. Make it a double whisky."